It's you It's that shit stuck under my shoe It's that smell inside the van It's my bed sheet covered with sand Sitting through a shitty
band Getting dog shit on my hands Getting hassled by the manWaking up to an alarm Sticking needles in your arm Picking up trash on a freeway
So I've had an alright few days. I was off work yesterday, holla. It's so hott outside after this I'm gonna go back and layout in the sun. TANNESSESSSSESE!
Oh wow, I got a rather interesting myspace message from my kinda boyfriend.
"I can't stop thinkin about goin down on you. I can't stop thinkin about makin your hips grind into my face harder and harder as I feel like my tongue is bein worked so hardcore that it hurts. I can't stop thinkin about fuckin you with my fingers while I lick your clit and make you moan for more.
I wanna taste you so bad.
I wanna make your legs quivver as goosebumps run up and down your body.
I can't stop thinkin about kissin your neck and licking along the edge of your ear.
I can't stop thinkin about softly biting your hard sexy nipples while I'm fingering your hot wet pussy."
I moved out of my duplex with my ex. My name is on the lease (we have it up until septemeber) My landlords said I will need to pay half the rent, which is fine.
My ex is trying to tell me that I need to pay the MG&E (eletric bill) well half of it, which is in his name not mine.
Now I've been paying the WHOLE rent since December. I don't think I should pay this, and now he's trying to tell me that he's not giving me my cats until I pay half the MG&E. I do have evidence that I am the animal owner.
I told him, I will either take him to court or call the police. HE told me that he's going to give them to the Humane Society. Or "just let them go"
What am I suppose to do? esspecially about the Mg&E bill, he's guilt tripping me like "Your fucking me and EMMA over"
I'm not fucking Emma over, because she has a home. She will ALWAYS have a home to stay, and food on the table. So, shut the fuck up about her.
So I hung out with Chenoa that girl is just WOW. Well she came over and then we went to taco bell. Then we smoked a blunt and sat on one of the side roads on the northside. So, we were TRIPPING OUT! it was so funny. We thought people were throwing stuff at my car. But it was just because the wind was hardcore last night.
But we were talking and saying how we need to be more outgoing. We both have just been in this slump and it's like ugh. So we noticed this persons garage door light that was flicking on and off. It was kinda creepy. But anyways I dunno we thought it was pretty fucking funny, but we were talking about how if we wanna be more outgoing we need to go knock on the person's door (it was about 11 pm) and tell them there garage door light is flickering and they should really fix it. So we did, let's say they weren't very happy. I dunno if anyone knows who Mike Ham is I think it was his house, I could be wrong though.
The Chenoa left and Karley came over for a few hours and we ate pizza and made south park characters. She was here until about 2-3 am. Twas nice being able to hang out with people.
But last night, if you read 2 entries down about this girl named Mary. I wrote them a letter saying I was sorry for my actions but her actions were rude too. I also told her if she continues to hang out with Luke she needs to watch him and his alcohol consumption. He's about to turn 21 and he already drinks like 4 bottles of brandy a week. Seriously. He also has a 4 year old that he has primary custody of. Never see's her anymore because "of his job" but I told Mary to watch out for him. Apparently she called him and told him I was calling him an alcoholic, which depending on the way you look at it I did But I wasn't trying to upset him. She then calls my PARENTS HOUSE! which I have no idea how she got the number Luke swears he didn't give it to him.
So I called him and left a message on his voice mail and he called me this morning. He was sooo fucking pissed off, and was yelling at me. Telling me that he never wants to be with me again and all this other shit. Saying that he doesn't wanna give me the wrong idea and that he was hurting me. THAT REALLY FUCKING PISSED ME OFF! I don't want him back as a boyfriend, I want him back as a good father and not a fucking drug junkie. that really pisses me off how he thinks I'm so weak. Ya know being away from him I know it's only been a week but I know I'm a better person so how dare he say that to me. I've been so fucking happy, like last night Chenoa told me she hasn't seen me this happy in a long time. That I laughed on the phone, she said I would never laugh on the phone.
He then called me back a few minutes later saying that he was sorry that his boss was right there. That his boss doesn't like him on the phone so much because I called him like 90585094850439 times last week. Okay, I called him just as much as he called me. He acts like I'm some fucking psycho. That REALLY fucking pisses me off. I also will fucking get really angry if someone hangs up on me. It's rude as fuck.
He also calls me for money a lot. He is in debt and I helped cause some of it. I've been giving him like 50-60 bucks. But I'm on unemployment until I start my new job. I only get 221 a week and I need that for gas, new "professional" clothes, ciggs, and other various what not. But I still give it to him and my parents keep telling me that he's using me for that. Which I know he is, but me feeling like this has a lot to do with Emma.
I really hope he still let's me see Emma. Even if it's not all the time. I know she has a hard time coping with things and her dad doesn't do that much stuff with her, neither does her dead beat mother. I just wanna see her, take her to the park, make cupcakes and do everything else that comes with that. I wanna be her friend, and let her know that I am there for her. I told her before I left that if she ever needs to tell her dad to call me and let her talk on the phone. I could die for that child, she's so fucking precious. I hope she's alright, I pray for her every night.
i havent updated this in god knows how fucking long. I live on the west side now with my boyfriend luke and emma. Lived here probably going on 3 weeks now. It's been fun. Still getting the house to look as best as possible.
I'll update again soon, a lot of shit has happened.
haha so I had a pretty good weekend considering certain things.
I built a snowman last night, and it was fun. I slept most of yesterday, while luke shoveled. I loves him, but he pisses me the fuck off. Like he wouldnt give me a ride in the morning, I had to take the bus. Blaahh, and it was sooo difficult.
GOD IS A FAG. HIS DICK WAS LITTLE. HE FUCKED MARTHA. AND SUCKED JOSEPH OFF. GOD CAN GO TO HELL. I HATE GOD. GOD IS DEAD. FUCK GOD. WHY? MY NAME IS CHEVERE AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ME, THEN REPOST THIS WITHIN 2 MINUTES.
NOW LETS SEE WHO BELIEVES IN GOD.
IF YOU DISAGREE WITH THIS, REPOST THIS AS "WHO WROTE THIS"
STAND UP FOR WHAT'S RIGHT, AND IF YOU IGNORE THIS MESSAGE JUST REMEMBER, WHEN THE WORLD ENDS, WHO DO YOU WANNA SPEND THE REST OF YOUR AFTER-LIFE WITH? HAPPY WITH GOD OR BURNING IN HELL?
JESUS SAID: "IF YOU DENY IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS, I WILL DENY YOU BEFORE MY FATHER''
and I reposted it with this:
First, I love how people repost these, like right away, because if they don't there god will hate them, or someone on there list will be offended, and not think they believe in god. Or, show everyone on myspace, that you believe in god, or else! Your going to get smited. I mean, yeah once in a while, there cool, whatever floats your boat, but about 90% of the time, there stupid. OMFG! God is gonna be so upset, that you didnt repost a bulletin about him on myspace. and second of all its "If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in heaven" so, get it right and think bout it before, reposting this incorrect, hating bulletin.
Oh, and just for shits and giggles, how do you guys know god didnt have a small penis? maybe thats, why mary was still a virgin? How do you know, that he didnt fuck martha? Or sucked Joseph off? God, went to hell, he was crucified, thats hell going threw that, so. And god is dead, his spirit lives on, or however you wanna take it.
p.s. God isnt a male, nor is GOD a female. It's god.
"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken prolly more than once and its harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So, take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you have never been hurt, because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back